Day 6: Fit for whatever!

Getting fit physically, mentally and spiritually is very important.

Like I said… I was 222 pounds no lie and now i’m down to about 155. I’m proud of that weight and according to Google I’m the perfect weight (even though I try not to rely on Google). This is a happy weight for me and with each extra pound I had at 222 I felt more and more depressed. Weight will definitely keep you down if you’re not happy with it.

Every time I looked in the mirror I heard the voices of my past when I was a child. “Shut up Dustin. You’re ugly.” and “You’re a nobody dude. Nobody wants you.”

I just kept hearing those voices in the back of my head and somehow I knew that they would NEVER go away unless I was happy with what I saw in the mirror.

So then I started looking at myself in the mirror and speaking to myself for 15 minutes straight every day saying positive affirmations to myself. Over and over again “You’re handsome, you’re talented, you’re needed, you’re wanted, you are somebody important, you are smart, you are funny, you are successful.” The trick is to keep going even if you don’t believe anything you’re saying in that moment.

I realized that over the years, after hearing those mean kids say things to me, those voices became louder in my ear than even my own voice.

Speak louder to yourself about the truth you want to believe and it will come true for you if you have faith.

It feels great to lose 60 pounds but it will do you no good if you don’t shake off some of your spiritual weight. I was told by a very wise man that works out at the same gym that I frequent that “It’s nice to be physically fit but are you feeding your spirit?” What words are speaking loudest in your ears? The voices of your past or the voices of your best self calling you from the future. Good night and sleep well Spiritual Pillness patients.

Day 5: Sleep Is Key!

I remember when I was being held in a Behavioral Health hospital I was thinking and acting very strangely. They had a right to lock me up in a loony bin! My mother and father fought for me by faith and told those doctors and lawyers the truth. I was fighting my case for why I should come home from the hospital. While the doctors said I need medication, mom said I just needed proper sleep, where the doctors said I needed counseling, my parents said I needed prayer and where the doctors said I needed to find coping strategies, God said I just needed the Word in my Spirit and that I need to walk in the Word. Let the Word be your pills my Pillness patients! Use your sword and crack open that Bible and hear that Jesus heals.

Jesus said for us to come to Him, all of us that feel heavily burdened and He will certainly give us rest. What I believe is more important than sleep sometimes is simply just rest. You can sleep for 9 hours a day and still be stressed out because you’re not resting.

My brother always encouraged me to relax sometimes and don’t just work work work all the time and not go out and enjoy yourself. Don’t ever feel guilty about going out and having some fun because fun is a good spiritual pill. Have fun!!

Day 4: God and Gluttony

Part 2:

Warning: This could offend someone not walking in the Spirit of God but we are all one body in Christ and this message speaks of the truth.

I sit with John at lunch most days when I’m not sitting in my car eating (this is when I eat lunch at work) my spiritual lunch hearing God’s voice (side note, Buddha couldn’t get me to give up fried chicken much less get me to give up my sins. Furthermore he also could not pay for or cover not one of my sins. I’m sorry).

John taught me a principle… the more junk you eat the more the body craves nutrition. I just came off of a fast yesterday and I realize that there is nothing more nutritious than God’s word!

If Buddha couldn’t get me to give up fried chicken then why would I trust him to lead me in a fast? You can tell by his big belly he can’t give up any fried chicken.

Jesus said to his disciples that they knew nothing of the kind of food He tasted. Taste and see that the Lord is good.

I spoke the other day about being fully satisfied with the nutrients of God. Just now I thought about how when God instructed Adam and Eve not to eat off of the tree he was testing them and teaching them that true satisfaction can only come from God. If Adam tasted of the Fruits of the Spirit in all the right ways, his lust for food wouldn’t have drawn him out.

I’m asking God in my own life to help me to control my lust for food since one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. My Spirit is not right when I commit gluttony and therefore my mind wasn’t right. We’ve gotta be satisfied and grateful with what God gives us and not be wanting instant gratification all the time.

What does this have to do with Mental Illness? Sometimes in life I’ve found that sins and strongholds have a direct correlation in my life with Mental Illness.

Walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.

Day 3: God and Gluttony

Part 1:

How much does God mean to you? What do you look for in life to sustain you? I consider God to be my nutrients and He definitely supplies all of my needs.

However, I’m greedy sometimes about food. Lord Help! I started off Christmas of 2016 as a pretty fat guy. I was 222 pounds. No muscle at all and just flab. At 5′ 7″ that is NOT a good weight for me. I do not look good at all at that size.

A young guy with glasses holding a fresh Burger. A very hungry student eats fast food. The concept of gluttony and unhealthy diet. With copy space for text. A black and white man and a color Burger.

My eating habits, just like all the others, was controlled and build by my environment. We grew up, me and my younger brother, racing to get done with our breakfast each morning so that our mother could hurry up and get us on the bus. It started with a bus problem and ended up a food problem. Then she wondered later why I couldn’t slow down while eating and eat more or less like a grown grizzly bear. She still tells me to this day “You don’t want to enjoy your food when you eat it?”. I’m usually not concerned with how fast I eat as much as about how much I pack in my unsatisfied gut until it’s ready to volcano.

Why are we talking about food tonight? Because I believe food plays a huuuuuuge role in mental health. It sometimes control our thoughts, emotions and our spirits. I have a co-worker at work that I talk to, older white guy, and he always would tell me that the more junk you put in your body, the more your body will crave junk instead of nutrients. But, what we usually don’t know is that our body is really telling us it would rather have nutrients. When we satisfy our bodies with junk food our cravings come back faster than ever before because we haven’t given it nutrients.

Today, i’ll have to admit… I raided the canteen and ate really crappy food. I used to be able to fast for days, but over the past few weeks while feeding myself crappymeals… yes i used those two words together on purpose (sound familiar?), I could barely get past lunch. Not only that, my thoughts couldn’t be held captive unto Christ like I usually try to do and they just ran wild. I also felt a slight bit of the mental health issues trying to creep back up… but I just rebuke it in the name of Jesus and keep moving. You have to try to take control of your spirit therefore grabbing hold of and controlling the mind as well. I once read a book by a guy named Casey Treat called “The Spirit of the Mind” and I never believed it before as much as I believe it now but whatever a man thinks in his heart… so is he. You can’t find Jesus with all of your intellect and smarts alone but you must find Him with the heart. That’s why you can read the Bible line for line and still not believe in what it says because it never changes your heart. Next time Pillness patients. Spiritual pills that is!

Day 2: Healthy Thoughts

Something funny about bad thoughts… It can control the mind to do just about anything in the world you wouldn’t normally do. I heard Dr. Myles Monroe say one time in a video that the reason that allowed Hitler to kill so many people was his perception about the people he was leading.

Myles said that the Greeks taught sometimes that one type of race was superior to all others. That in order to succeed in Greek society that one had to look a certain way and possess a predisposed set of characteristics. That’s the mindset that if you don’t have fair skin and blond hair with blue eyes you won’t succeed.

But then Myles said, leaders never treat the people that they are leading like they are beneath them but rather would sacrifice themselves for the good of the people. That’s why I believe that God inspired me to write this , because He knows that I have a strong desire to help people.

You know, there’s nothing more satisfying than knowing I can help someone in this world up. I couldn’t help that little boy inside of me sometimes that had no choice but to come home everyday and cry on his bed at night but it’s powerful to know that I can help thousands of people just like him.

I never believed in the saying “Hurt people will eventually hurt people”. I believe that there’s more power in stopping hurt. Especially when evil seems so out of control today. Nevertheless. I choose to help people as if I could help the child inside of me that held in so much hurt.

Day 1: Get up and Do!

Good morning Pillness people. Today i’m feeling great. Since i’m catching you guys on an early morning i’m going to talk about my morning routine.

First thing I do when my feet hit the floor in the morning is that i drop to my knees and pray. Now, I don’t always remember to pray, but I seldom miss that step. Then I make up my bed to give myself a sense of pride and accomplishment first thing in the morning. I heard that it triggers your mind subliminally to tell it that you’re achieving something.

Then I get up and re-hydrate. I make sure that I give myself plenty of fluids because all night long our bodies haven’t been hydrating. One important thing in my life about hydration is that I’ve been hospitalized about not being hydrated multiple times before and sometimes even hospitalized for mental health reasons from being dehydrated and sleep deprived.

I heard a lot in the past from my counselor about the chemical imbalance in the brain. It got me interested in what I could do to change the chemical make-up of my mind. Now i’m no scientist or psychologist but I do know that when I drink alcohol and do drugs and eat trashy fast food that my mind deteriorates. Even the last few days I’ve not been doing good on my fast and have been eating junk food. I told God i was gonna be giving up junk food as a part of the corporate fast were having at our church. I’ve noticed that there’s a correlation between when I eat junk food and when my mind has all kind of unhealthy thoughts and I get off balance spiritually, mentally and physically.

What changed my life? Trading alcohol for water. Trading drugs and junk food for veggies and healthy snacks. Trading pornography for Christian films. Trading isolation with going out with friends and spending time with family.

I’ve been very depressed in my life but with God’s help I’ve turned my life around. Upon reading a blog about how to defeat porn I’ve found the key to defeating almost any stronghold in practical matters. Of course there is prayer but lets be practical in other ways for a second to accompany the prayer. If you’re trying to give up an addiction or stronghold then you must replace a bad habit with a good habit. That’s all I have to give you from my heart to yours. God bless!

My Journey: God helped me flush my pills.

Hear me… My journey will not be your journey, because we’re all uniquely designed by God. Not only are we unique, but so is our path in life. Therefore, I can only tell you what it’s like to look through the lens of a strengthened man of God. I write this in hopes of being led by God to bring you out of the muddy mind you may be thinking with. Stop what you’re doing and run to victory.

The old folks used to say “God and God alone kept me in my right mind today.” Side note, I always wanted to say that and what i want you to consider is to free your mind and renew your mind with this statement. I promise you that it will only be God that can bring you out. You can listen to all the motivational tapes and read all the books on mental illness but no one will be able to deliver you like Jesus.

I believe that confidence was only given to us to teach us how successful we could be once that time in life arises. Confidence has the power to lift us all out of many things, but its’ unmatched against the power of confidence in God. I promise that in life anything that you can snatch and grab in this world is unparalleled to being given the promises of God. He literally gives out gifts and that’s why we throw our hands out in praise when we’re in the house of worship.

Book authors may not tell their ages a lot in a book or blog but I was born in 1988, but did not come alive until early 2017. I grew up watching and hearing a living and breathing testimony in my dad first. “I used to ride your older brother on my lap and he’d hold the wheel because he was too lil’ ta reach the gas peddles.” My dad would have no problem telling you this story himself because he’s far from the man he used to be. My older brother had to drive my father home from the bowling alley some nights if he got too drunk to function.

I’m telling these stories because if we don’t know our history, sometimes we won’t know how to jump over obstacles moving forward. My history teacher once told me that History repeats itself and those who don’t learn it are doomed to repeat it. It’s time out for these generational curses. Time out for Depression and Mental Illness as a whole. Time out for Schizoaffective disorder. I don’t claim any of those issues anymore but I will say that I once was bound and now i’m free. This is my journey. Can’t wait to see you on the other side!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  -Jesus

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